“You cannot control the feelings of others.” Why is it that that line has been presenting itself to me… repeatedly, lately? OK, Universe, I hear you!
I was laying in Savasana the other day, ready to settle into my breathing, and letting my body relax into the mat when the yoga teacher started discussing this very topic. As I laid there, in total relaxation, I soaked in his every word like a sponge would absorb water.
We have to stop holding ourselves responsible for other people’s feelings and actions. Of course, as an empath, we care about other people and their feelings but there is a difference between being empathetic and beating ourselves up for doing what is best for ourselves. Other people may try and project onto us- they may try and tell us how we should be doing something thinking that their way is the right way. This does not mean we are doing something wrong. In this instance, smile and say thank you then go about doing what you were doing. By doing so, we are choosing to act in accordance with our beliefs rather than being told how we should be doing something. This does not mean we care for that person any less, it means we are holding ourselves to our truest form.
I am sure we have all been there- our partner comes into the kitchen and says that we are not making the coffee correctly or that we did not make the bed properly, or whatever the case may be. I am sure my examples are not the best but, hopefully you catch my drift. We are not doing something wrong simply because we are doing something in a different way than that person would do that exact same thing. Sure, we may succumb to projections placed on us because we do not want conflicts but this is not doing us any benefits either. Just because we do, say, or feel something different than the next person, does not mean our ways or beliefs are wrong.
OR
If someone asks you to do something — say a friend calls and wants to meet for dinner yet you had other plans or you are just too tired to go out, it is perfectly OK to say “no.” All too often, we commit to doing things we do not want to do simply because we do not want to hurt the other person’s feelings. Be true to yourself. Be kind and courteous but also know that is alright to decline the invitation.
The counter is true for ourselves as well. How often do we project our beliefs onto others- telling them how or what they should be doing. This happens to the best of us and, from personal experience, more times than I would like to admit. When this happens and you find yourself projecting, recognize it is happening and remove yourself from the conversation or change the subject.
We view the world from our experiences and these experiences come from our past. Often times, these beliefs that we hold so dear to our heart are filtered. Our past experiences are filtered through interactions with other people, places, preconceived notions, etc. What we perceive to be one thing can in fact have a completely different perspective from the eyes of the next person. Because of these experiences, we have a preconceived view of the ways things “should be.” What would happen if you opened yourself up to the curiosity of the unknown? Let new things come into your life and create new experiences without being held back from past beliefs.
The right people will always align with you and show up in your life.
Key takeaways from the yoga lesson:
- We cannot control others’ beliefs and actions
- It is OK to say “no” to something
- Stop letting past experiences hold ourselves back from future events
- Keep an open curiosity for the unknown
- We cannot take on the “feelings” of others and internalize them
- Just because someone else tells us how we should do something, does not mean our way is wrong
Thank you for reading this post! If you liked this story, please give it a thumbs up and consider following along in my journey of sharing my thoughts and experiences on this platform. “Use your smile to change the world, do not let the world change your smile.”
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